key in the river
Just like a key lost in a river, I no longer know whether I’m the one searching for the key, or if I am the lost key myself. I’ve tried everything. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the key, lying quietly beneath the water, waiting for someone to find me. And I keep wondering: am I really that hard to find? Am I that invisible? That insignificant? I’ve also tried living as the person who lost the key. I keep searching. I walk along the river endlessly, dipping myself into places that look shallow enough to reach the bottom. I was never the kind of person who would willingly throw themselves into deep water just to search for something uncertain. But lately, maybe I’ve become that desperate. So I drowned myself in the river anyway. I’ve tried searching in different ways. I moved from place to place, hoping maybe the river would look different somewhere else. I followed the current farther than where I was supposed to search for the key, convincing myself that maybe it had drifted away long ago...